The Bike Shop

"Good morning. Is this a bike shop?"

"Yes sir, finest in the land."

"Ah good. Do you sell Hondas?"

"Yes sir," Enthusiasm. " Which model do you require?"

"You misunderstand me, I want some spare parts for a Honda."


"You do stock spares?"

"Er, yes sir." Uncertain.

"Right then, I have a list: Starter motor clutch for a Honda CB450 '68 model four ....."

"Hang on a minute mate, let me get a book. Ah let's see, 450 eh. Don't see many of them nowadays."

"No you don't. Do you have a clutch?"

"Sorry sir, not much demand for them."

"Can you get me one then?"

"Yes sir, certainly. I'll order you one from Japan."

"How long will it take?"

"I'll do it now."

"No, how long will it take to get one?"

"Six to eight weeks sir." Lying.

"OK then, how about a throttle cable for a 450 then."

"Let me have a look in the book sir. Right. Yes, part number ..........."

"Have you got one?"


"Can I try a 500T cable then, I've heard they fit."

"No, sorry sir, completely different."

"Oh, can you order me one then?"

"A 500T, certainly sir."

"No a cable for a 450."

"Oh yes sir. It'll take ......"

"Six to eight weeks, yes I know. How about two B8ES spark plugs."

"Yes sir, won't be a minute." Pause.

"Sorry sir, we appear to have run out."

"Umm, you don't have much in stock do you?"

"Yes sir, largest supply of spares in the country."

"Really? Can I have a 3.50 x 18 inner tube then?"

"Sorry sir, we don't stock them."

"What, inner tubes?"

"No sir, that size, no call for them you see."

"But you sell 250 and 500 Hondas."

"Yes sir, which one do you want?"

"I don't. But they both have 18" wheels."

"Yes sir, very reliable and good value for money. Which one do you want?"

"I don't. Do you by any chance have a gasket set and spring for the petrol tap?"

"What model sir?" Bright.

"It doesn't really matter. They are all the same."

"No sir, completely different."

"Surely Honda in their infinite wisdom don't fit different taps to all their machines?"

"Oh yes sir. Now which tap do you have?"


"No sir."

"What do you mean?"

"Haven't got one sir."

"What, a 450?"

"No sir, but the 500 is very similar. Would you like one of those instead?"

"Yes please." Happy again.

"Right sir. Sign here. That will be £199.99 and £35 a month for three years sir."

"What for?" Shock.

"A 500T sir."

"But I don't want a 500T"

"A 750 then sir?"

"I don't want a new bike. I only came here for some spares. I seem to have been wasting my time don't I."

"Yes sir, I suppose so sir. But if sir bought a new machine while sir was here, he would not have wasted his time would he sir? Obviously your machine is now obsolete and must make way for a new generation Honda. Now sir, I know it is difficult to choose from such a splendid range but which machine would sir like?"